that day, i decided
not to love him
anymore. nor think of him
or look him in the eye.
that day, i decided to quit
even without starting,
even without knowing the
prospects of love,
even without feeling his
embrace. that day i decided.
how does he kiss, i do not know.
how does he love, i will never fathom.
that day, i decided
to stop loving him
without knowing why.
pilak si luna
na pumupilas sa dagat ng kadiliman
ng langit
walang bahid.
mapanukso,
kunwari pang walang lakas
humihigop ng
kaluluwang ligaw.
lalaki si luna
hindi babae.
hubad
walang patid ang
pakikiniig
na parang paniki sa himpapawid.
higop at humihigop ng kaluluwang ligaw.
“this is what i hate about making nice memories,” i told her with hell-deep sigh, “you’ll get too used to it, it’s painful to know you’ll be pining over it when it’s gone.”
“i am sorry,” was all she mustered to say, “my decision, nothing wrong with you, nothing to blame your self for.”
it’s been four months, and she, my fourth girl. i never used to believe this chinese shit, but is it coming to life? four they say spells death and bad luck.
my wife, i took her to dinner.
"you don’t love me anymore," she complained, "i never tasted food for decades now."
so we trotted along to the avenue, i was wearing my coat, and hat and gloves, she looked pretty on her mother’s dress and all.
there was lamb, and vintage french and expensive clinks of silver and china and glass.
and the violin played solely for us.
that was yesternight.
fool me, she left me for the string man’s moon river.
poor me.
kasama ba ako
sa mga pangarap
mo ngayong gabi?
kasama ba ako
sa mga paglalaro
mo sa pampang
ng kinabukasan?
magkahawak ba
ang mga kamay natin
habang lumilipad ka sa
mga alapaap
at nanghuhuli ng bituin?
makakasama ba kita
sa iyong mga dapit hapon
ilang taon pa
mula ngayon?
kasama ba ako
ng iyong kahapon,
ngayon at
bukas?
sana
isama mo ako
gaya ng pagsama ko sa’yo
sa aking paglalayag
sa dagat ng buhay.
kung ayaw mo na,
i-text mo na lang.
isosoli ko na lang
ang kaligayahang hiniram ko sa’yo.
tutupiin ko na
ang mga pahina ng
mga pangarap na iginuhit ko
para sa ating dalawa.
kung ayaw mo na,
i-text mo na lang.
napansin ko kasi,
magmula nung makalawa,
mapakla na.
me nasabi ba ako,
o me ginawa,
o me kulang ba?
o napagtanto mo
na di ka na masaya.
i-text mo na lang,
kung wala na talaga.
pipikit na lang ako
at iiyak.
dahila mahal pa kita.
we made love when
summer was to end
and our flesh sizzled
like shy drops of rain
against the flaming earth.
it was an affair that
no one is to know -
we made love when
summer was to end.
the night was so parched
and so were we
with skin and moan
and juices of love divine.
we made love when the day
was to end, when rain was away.
in the burning heat of
our tongues our
bodies spun,
undulated like dry
waves of heavy air
and no one
was to know.
it was that night
when summer had to
leave, we were consumed
by lust and
fire and thrill and
silence - just before
storm and thunder
reign the land.
in the grainy rhythm
from my grandfather’s
turntable, we slowly
danced the night. the
crickets can only cry
in envy.
we danced the balse -
one, two, three, and
our hands explored
the world of
ourselves. his soft,
moist lips waltzed
against my cheek.
that was years ago
when the breeze was
warm - as warm as
his nervous breath
crawling down my
chin.
we danced the balse,
that was years ago,
when we were
young, when we
didn’t care.
but alas, that was
years ago when our
love was warm and
we didn’t care, we
didn’t know the music
fades too.
the balse, years ago,
(when we were
young and uninitiated
boys) like his eyes
now, has become
dark and blind and
gone.
The boulder to the crypt will be rolled tonight, and I shall take my rest, the one that my soul so long desires.
And the Darkness shall summon me, and I shall step with her, in great pain, in utter ecstasy, into the abysmal depths of her reign.
I shall lay my back, lay to repose in her bossom, oh death, my friend.
And all things shall cease, and the boulder shall roll, and I shall take my rest.
it was night of the month, and it was the night of the dogs.
i slid underneath the sheets, my stomach curdling with rwandan brew and beer. it was half past ten.
at three, i was awakened, the dogs howling and barking, and the cars zooming fast in the skyway.
the sheets are now damp with sweat, why do these dogs howl? where will the cars go?
i pray, i close my eyes and i count, and i pray, it will be morning soon.
